this is why i don't make decisions.

if you've ever even talked to me before, you'll know that i DO NOT make decisions easily. and normally, i have to have other people help me make them. i don't know why i am so ridiculously indecisive, that's just the way it plays out. and it pretty much sucks. especially right now. see, i've got this decision that is looming on the horizon, like one of those killer summer thunderstorms that you can see from miles away because it turns the sky as black as night. however, i enjoy those kind of storms but i really don't enjoy decision-making. especially big, huge, important decisions that are going to have a drastic effect on my future. and that i have to make on my own.

i swore up and down before that i was never going to put myself in the position where i would have to make a decision like this. but i threw myself headfirst into that trap, knowing full well the consequences. i think however, the experience was worth those consequences. i have been generally been a much happier person over the last number of months than i have been in a long time. i saw this decision coming from the very start, but i felt that it was a small price to pay for the happiness that i experienced along the way. and here i am now, staring it right in the face. if i could go back and redo it all, i would not change a single thing.

but i am terrified to make this decision. i have asked most, if not all, of my closest friends for their advice and wise words. most have had a common theme, but other details have been on complete opposite ends of the spectrum. this has caused me to realize that this is a decision that i have to make on my own. and that scares me. i'm terrified that i am going to make the wrong decision or screw things up in some way, shape, or form. but i just need to square my shoulders, take a deep breath, and do it. and hope and pray that it was the right thing to do.

-sarah